Live A Life Of Abundance

   


Scarcity, Abundance, and the Reality I Chose

John and I were driving home after a long day of shopping when we began talking about the future—what we want more of, what we want to protect, and what we hope to leave behind. At one point, John turned to me and said,
“Sometimes, I don’t think you live in reality.”

I asked him why, but before he could answer, I already knew.

We see life differently.

John comes from a mindset of scarcity. I believe in abundance.

For a long time, though, I lived in scarcity too. I was taught—directly and indirectly—that this was all I deserved. Don’t believe you can have it all. Don’t reach too far. Don’t want too much. Those thoughts ran through my head daily—sometimes hourly.

I used to joke that my tombstone would read:
“Here lies Bonny. She was never enough.”
The heartbreaking part? I truly believed that.

For years, I equated perfection with love. I thought if I could just be perfect—the perfect wife, daughter, mother, friend—then I would be loved. That’s an impossible standard for anyone, especially someone who believes love must be earned.

Instead of being loved, I was taken advantage of. And worse, I told myself I deserved it because I wasn’t perfect. I believed I would always fall short. That I would never be great. That life would always feel like not enough because I was not enough.

That thinking became a cycle—one that replayed itself over and over until I finally decided to break it.

Recently, I had a realization that changed everything:
I am the only person in charge of my life.

I have the power to change it. I always did. The only thing standing in my way was the belief that I didn’t deserve more. Once I let that go, something clicked. I deserved it. I deserved all of it.

So I changed the way I looked at opportunities. I began thinking in terms of abundance. I started telling myself, You can have it all.

Now—let’s pause there, because “having it all” needs clarity.

Everyone’s version looks different, and that’s okay. We become what we think about all day long, so I had to get very honest with myself. What does “having it all” actually mean to me?

For me, it looks like comfort.
Less worrying—especially financially.
Laughter with friends and family.
Serenity in my heart.
A comfortable home.
A few meaningful trips along the way.

Dreaming big is easy. The work comes next.

I asked myself: What steps can I take today to live a life of abundance?

I didn’t sugarcoat who I am or hide the messy parts. I stood in my truth. I knew I needed a side hustle to create the life I wanted, and teaching is my passion—anything else would have felt wrong. So I applied for tutoring jobs. I got two.

Little by little, I began to succeed. Every dollar I earned went toward building that sense of comfort and security I had been craving. I worried less. I gave more. I donated to charity. I bought Christmas gifts for a child who deserved to see a wish come true.

And here’s the truth: the more you give, the more you get—not always materially, but in deep self-satisfaction. In knowing you made a difference because you could.

One intentional action led to another. Each day filled with effort, purpose, and belief. I wasn’t just dreaming about “having it all”—I was building it.

But that required something crucial: consciously changing my thoughts.

I turned scarcity on its head. I recognized that my life was already abundant. I have a home. I have my health. I am surrounded by love. I stopped judging—myself most of all, and others too.

Who am I to walk in anyone else’s shoes? And who walks in mine but me?

I stopped caring what people thought about my choices, my appearance, my decisions. This became my life. I count. I matter. I love who I am—exactly as I am. And I know I’ve made a difference.

When I stopped judging, I got busy living.

And with that one action—living my life—everything changed.

So honestly, John, I do live in reality.
I know because I created it.

Life doesn’t have to be so hard. I’m allowed to have fun. I’m allowed to love every part of myself—even the ugly parts.

Yesterday, I was told I received a 30-day suspension from tutoring because I missed too many sessions. I spiraled. I told myself, See? You can’t have it all. I panicked. I beat myself up.

But this morning, while walking, I thought it through.

I didn’t prioritize that job the way I should have. I didn’t treat it like the opportunity it was. And actions have consequences. In this case, it was a 30-day timeout.

I owned it. I deserved the suspension.

But I also reminded myself: one moment does not define me.
One mistake does not erase my dreams.

It reinforced a powerful truth—you are what you think about. If I want to have it all, I have to give my all, down to the details.

I hope this post encourages you to dream—and then ask yourself how you can make that dream real. Life is what we make of it. We all get knocked down. We all feel life is unfair.

And guess what?
It is.

Live your life anyway.

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