Life's Love Letter: A Letter to My Life

Lately, I’ve been asking myself some pretty big questions. Why are we here? What purpose do we serve as human beings? How are we supposed to relate to one another? For some reason, my 59th birthday hit me hard. I keep thinking, 60 is a mature adult. There’s no more “someday.” No more waiting until the timing is perfect, until life settles down, until everything falls into place. It feels like do-or-die time. And I am choosing do . I used to think we were supposed to figure out our one great purpose in life. But slowly, I’m realizing that maybe purpose doesn’t work that way. We all know how this story eventually ends. Life is finite. But our purpose continues to change and evolve until that day comes. Sometimes our purpose is huge, and sometimes it’s simply the purpose we find in today. Today, I get to make myself happy. Today, I get to make choices that align with my morals and my beliefs. Today, I get to decide how I want to spend this precious little piece of my life. And the possib...

Why Not Me? I don't write on my blog on a schedule. I write when something stirs my heart—when a thought won't leave my mind and I feel like someone else might need to hear it too. Yesterday, I was doing what so many of us do these days... doom scrolling. Then I stopped. A young man was sitting at his kitchen table, looking directly into the camera, and he said he had something important to share. He began by saying that he hadn't spoken to his parents in two years. My first thought was, How heartbreaking. His parents must be devastated. But then he continued. He shared that both of his parents had called him a bum. They told him he would never make anything of himself. Eventually, they kicked him out of the house. Three years later, he owns a home, earned a college degree, is engaged to be married, and has built a life for himself. As I listened, I realized this wasn't really a story about the house, the degree, or the possessions. It was a story about determination. I...

Tomorrow Is Mine Tomorrow will be such a wonderful day. I love celebrating my birthday. I am a giver, and I try my best to make everyone happy, but on June 11th, I claim that day. Not only is it my birthday, but it is also my anniversary. Tomorrow will be our TEN-YEAR anniversary. How did that happen? Where does the time go? Everyone—and I mean everyone—has a story to tell. I have shared my story over and over again, praying that it might help someone who needs to hear it. I want others to know that life does go on after trauma. For those who are new here, this is the very short version of my story. In 1990, I married my childhood sweetheart. We were married from 1990 until 2015, although I left in 2012. He was an abusive and deeply troubled individual who created trauma for everyone around him. I finally left with my two children and began building a better life—or so I thought. I met a man who treated me kindly. He was attentive and caring. In reality, he was a criminal who took my ...

The Exhaustion of Anxiety: Living in a Mind That Never Rests I am not even sure what to title this post because my mind feels like it is all over the place lately. Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt that way. I SEE YOU. My hand is raised too. This post does not really have one clear theme or lesson. It is more of a feeling. A feeling I know so many people quietly carry every single day. That feeling is anxiety. Not just occasional stress or nervousness. I am talking about the kind of anxiety that sits in your chest before your feet even hit the floor in the morning. The kind that makes your mind race through every possible worst-case scenario before anything has even happened. People who live with Generalized Anxiety Disorder often exist in a constant state of fight or flight. We do not want to think this way. Trust me, if we could shut it off, we would. But our brains are always scanning. Always preparing. Always worrying. We worry about our children, our spouses, our parents, our pe...

  🌿 Where Grief Lives Now There is a moment every morning that I’ve come to know so well. It’s that one second before your eyes fully open— when everything feels normal… peaceful… untouched. And then reality quietly steps in. And you remember. For me, that feeling has never really gone away. Not after weeks. Not after years. Not even after 26 years. My father died suddenly, and I don’t think I ever truly caught up to it. One day he was here, part of everything, and the next day he wasn’t. There was no time to prepare, no time to understand, no time to say all the things you think you’ll have time to say. People say grief gets easier. And maybe in some ways, it does. You learn how to function. You learn how to smile again. You learn how to keep moving forward. But grief doesn’t leave. It just changes where it lives. In the beginning, it’s everywhere. It’s loud. It’s overwhelming. It feels like it takes over your entire life. But over time… it becomes quieter. No...

  The Second Before You Remember: Living With Grief That Never Leaves What do you do when someone you love is no longer alive? Everyone experiences death differently. My dad died almost 26 years ago, yet I still cannot shake the feeling that comes every morning when I wake up. It’s that one second before you open your eyes, when life feels perfect. Then your eyes open—and you remember. I wake up like that every single day. His death was sudden and unexpected, and I think part of me is still processing that grief. There is no time limit on grief. There is no day when you fully accept that someone you love is gone. For me, grief is a process—one I now understand better. I am moving through it, but I know I will carry it forever. My father was a wonderful person. Not an easy person—but without a doubt, a wonderful one. He made memories with us, and no one can ever take those away. My own children had a difficult father until John came along and showed them what a real father could be....