You are Enough, Even If You Don't Belive It Yet

 

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I remarried about ten years ago.

After two horrid relationships, I finally stopped pointing the finger outward and asked myself a harder question: Was there something about the men I was choosing… and trying to save?

So I did something completely different. I chose someone completely different.

Years before that, I had gone to a psychic. She told me the person I was with at the time was not my soulmate. She said I would meet someone new, that the relationship would move quickly, and to “just go with it.”

When I met John, I knew.

Our conversations flowed effortlessly. We would spend hours texting and talking every single day. When my feelings started deepening, I asked him where he saw this going. At that point, we hadn’t even met in person yet.

He told me he just wanted to be “texting buddies.”

I said that was fine. I could always use another friend.

But by December of 2014, we decided to finally meet. Our first date lasted eight hours.

I knew he was the one.

He is kind. He is caring. He is thoughtful in ways that don’t demand applause. He is steady in a world that often feels chaotic.

But this blog post isn’t to tell the world how great my husband is.

It’s to tell him.

You see, John has had an interesting life. No different than any of us, really — because everyone has a story. Everyone has scars. Everyone has chapters they don’t reread.

What makes me sad is that because so many people told him he was never good enough… he now believes it.

And that belief quietly shapes his days.

He wakes up anxious. His mind rarely rests. There is no space for his brain to just be. The anxiety shows up before the coffee, before the sunlight, before the world even asks anything of him.

I know that boat.

I used to live there.

Scarcity mode.
Never enough.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Assuming things would go wrong because they always had before.

It takes a lot of work to change your brain.

For me, the book The Language of Letting Go helped me begin that shift. It taught me to release the past, loosen my grip on fear, and quiet the constant undercurrent of dread.

I am clinically diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Panic attacks still come out of nowhere sometimes. There are moments I want to isolate. There are days I want to hide.

I’ve been there.

But being a teacher — seeing the world through the eyes of five- and six-year-olds — reminded me of something powerful:

We grow every day… if we allow ourselves to grow.

I teach my students about a “growth mindset.” It means we add one small word to the end of our sentences:

Yet.

“I’m not good at folding laundry… yet.”
“I don’t love myself… yet.”
“I’m not where I want to be… yet.”

That tiny three-letter word opens a door in the brain. It shifts failure into possibility. It turns stress into belief. It reminds us that progress is a process.

When you add yet, you acknowledge that you are on your way.

I also started acting “as if.” Acting as if the life I wanted had already begun. Acting as if I was enough. Acting as if abundance was real.

I set goals and pushed through — even on days I wanted to stay in bed and isolate.

And slowly, my brain followed my behavior.

So this is my message to John — and to anyone rowing in that same anxious boat:

You can change your mindset.

It is not easy. It is not quick. But it is possible.

You have to do the work. You have to push intrusive thoughts aside. You have to stay present. You have to challenge the voice that says you aren’t enough.

Because you are.

We get one go around on this Earth.

Will we spend it anxious, miserable, and convinced we are lacking?
Or will we choose growth — knowing we’re not there yet, but we’re moving?

The choice is ours.

Choose wisely.

Don’t waste time. We never know when our time is up. Live with no regrets. Jump without the safety net. Love deeply. Believe boldly.

We are all going to die one day.

Everyone will move forward.

So make your life count.

You can be or do anything you want — if you just let go.